Spammity Spam Dos

In some of my posts you will learn neat things. Things about authors you hadn’t heard of, or movies you may not have seen. Historical trivia and analysis of medieval heroes, or perhaps theories on how to read by some of the best authors in the English language.

In this post, you will laugh at some more dumb spam comments.

On my post on Chapter 3 of C.S. Lewis’ An Experiment in Criticism:

I don’t even understand how I ended up here, but I assumed this publish was great. I do not recognise who you might be however certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already. Cheers!

Isn’t that great? This spambot doesn’t even pretend to have read the post, or even to have sentience. It just jumps straight to the empty and irrelevant flattery. This is perhaps the most honest one I’ve received yet.

On my posting of Frank Sidgwick’s “A Christmas Legend”:

This web site is really a stroll-through for all the info you wanted about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse right here, and also you’ll undoubtedly uncover it.

This one’s mostly amusing because of the “stroll-through.” I may have to use that phrase. Superlative slang of spambots, Samuel Johnson! An unthinking computer program just enhanced my diction!

On my review of Peter Beagle’s The Last Unicorn:

Moving and effective! Youve certainly got a way of reaching individuals that I havent seen quite frequently. If most people wrote about this subject with the eloquence that you just did, Im sure men and women would do much more than just read, theyd act. Fantastic stuff here. Please keep it up.

Now I know that review was pretty good — it received some very kind comments and contains a few nice turns of phrase. But apparently, it’s also the key to real change and peace in the world. Get the news out, people! Maybe if the leaders of Iran, North Korea, etcetera only read this review of mine, the power of unicorns magnified to the power of David would cause them to repent of their dastardly ways!

*sideways glance*

Nah, the spambot’s unfamiliarity with apostrophes invalidates its argument. Besides, apparently I’m only good at reaching individuals that it doesn’t see frequently.


Author: David

I’m a young Christian American reader writer dreamer wanderer walker flier listener talker scholar adventurer musician word-magician romantic critic religious idealist optipessimist man.

12 thoughts on “Spammity Spam Dos”

  1. My dad walked by me just now and looked over my shoulder at the computer. “What’s moving and effective?” he queried, “Ex-Lax?”

    The power of unicorns magnified by the power of David–you should bottle it and sell it, my friend. 😀

    1. Perhaps as my own brand of cologne, advertised with a bearded me armored as a knight and riding battle-ready unicorn? And endorsed by The Most Interesting Man In The World. Guaranteed to make you Victorious. [Only made with blood voluntarily donated by unicorns.]

      (Oh my gosh, that’s such a horrible idea! haha…)

      1. Speaking of weird and wonderful fragrances, have you heard of this place? I guess it’s probably more of a girly kind of thing, but they even have some Last Unicorn fragrances, as I have linked. I bought a few samples from them recently, though not these. Anyway, there is precedent for your marvelous product. XD

        I love those Most Interesting Man in the World ads. But I still think he could do better than Dos Equis. I have come to the conclusion that I am, not exactly a beer snob, but a beer hipster. I like smaller craft brewery stuff with interesting labels. I just bought some that is made with honey and ginger.

        1. Whoa…that’s very strange, yet very curious. I’m not sure I want to know what Captain Cully smells like…

          The ads are amusing, shameless as they are in being ridiculous just to sell a beer. I’ve never had Dos Equis, but I’m not sure I’d like it. Mexican beers tend to be skunky, from what I hear. I tend to prefer darker ones, like Newcastle, a dark Sam Adams, McEwan’s, or even Guinness. I keep trying to appreciate whisky and brandy, but so far they both taste vile to me.

          1. I don’t find the ads shameless. I prefer ads that tell a little story that has little to do with their product, but is memorable and brings the brand name to mind. I don’t like the ones that shove their product in your face to say, “you’ll be more popular, attractive, etc. if you use our product.” The Most Interesting Man in the World ads are the former, in my opinion. And I think they’re darn clever. “He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it felt.” He has kind of a Chuck Norris mystique.

            I like a Corona once in a while, but mainly I don’t drink Mexican beer, either. Mostly that’s because I like beers that are at least brown, not yellow. 😛 So yeah, I like darker beers. I really don’t like Guiness, though. It’s too light in body and flavor for me, and I have discovered I don’t care for the taste of beers with nitrogen “carbonation” as well as ones with actual CO2 carbonation. Have you tried Jameson Irish whiskey? I don’t drink whiskey much, but I’ve tasted it and it is nice and smooth. As for brandy, I haven’t drunk it neat, but it’s quite nice in things.

  2. My goodness, your spambots are much kinder than mine are, and provide fodder for a good laugh!

    Mine always tell me that my blog is okay, but it needs more help than I can give to actually be worth reading. Lucky for me though, they’ve got just what I need!!!

    So, flattering, toady spambots, or snake-oil salesman spambots… which would you prefer?

    1. I get a lot of those, too. They say how nice my page design is, but how I’m not ranking high on search engines and stuff like that. Bogus. Google “Arrow-Odd” and my Xanga post comes up. Google “arrow odd hero” and my recent post comes up first. You just have to know how to search to find me. +)

      Oh, and to you question: the flattery ones, because they’re usually funnier.

  3. The power of unicorns magnified to the power of David may not hold the secret to world peace, but it does seem to attract high-quality spam-bots.

    I am somewhat concerned about incorrect punctuation invalidating arguments. I may be in trouble. ^_~

    1. Only egregious abuses will attract my wrath — you should be fine. Don’t switch commas and periods. Don’t leave either of them out. Don’t forget one or both quotation marks. Make sure you use a colon or semicolon when appropriate. Know when it’s okay to have a separate clause and when you should start a new sentence. You know, simple things; nothing too fancy. +)

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