Spammity Spam VI


After eight Spammity Spam posts stretching back to November of 2011, the same ol’ spambot-with-bad-grammar-and-empty-praise shtick isn’t enough to entertain anymore. Inarticulate wording and the occasional amusing phrase would just be more of the same. After all, what’s the point of making fun of this one, from “Rochel Mitschke:”

I view something really interesting about your web site so I bookmarked.

Boring, ain’t it? You guys are sophisticated readers; some of you have even been posting the crazy spambot comments from your own blogs! Your standards have undoubtedly gone up.

And besides, my self-esteem isn’t quite so low that I need the raving compliments of spambot Leonel Swearngin to feel better about my crippling failures as a blogger:

I really appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thank you again!

Then there are the ones that pretend to flirt with you under the cover of asking for advice, like—get this name—Guadalupe Tishler:

hi!,I like your writing so much! share we communicate more about your article on AOL? I require a specialist on this area to solve my problem. Maybe that’s you! Looking forward to see you.

Share we communicate? Let’s not use Engrish, my friend, it’s not considered polite anymore.

It’s mostly the names I like. The blandest robot comment can have the most inventive names. Some could be real, like Rochel and Guadalupe. Some are just…Leonel Swearngin. And then, sometimes, the most amazing comments come with a fairly uninteresting name. Like this one, from silver price. The “price” makes it boring, like a supermarket discount. But what does silver price say? After close inspection, I believe he is describing a medieval-rock fantasy movie. How else to explain it? It must have been made in the ’80s.

The leader of the group X-Laws, Iron Maiden Jeanne , is a French girl who receives a divine revelation while praying in church that she must purge an evil force or the world will be destroyed.

Impressive, no? Almost makes it all worth it.

But I keep coming back to that Leonel Swearngin. He sounds like a lost member of the A-Team. Leonel “Leo” Swearngin. Is that action-disco music I hear?

Who’s the tough-talkin’ merc
That’s a lion to all the jerks?
Leo, Leo Swearngin

Who likes swearing
as much as he likes gin?
Leo…Leo Swearngin!

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Author: David

I’m a young Christian American reader writer dreamer wanderer walker flier listener talker scholar adventurer musician word-magician romantic critic religious idealist optipessimist man.

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